Sunday, April 7, 2013
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My Amazing Grandmother
My Amazing Grandma
I wrote a "psychological biography" of my Grandma for a class I was taking in college back in 2000. During our interview sessions I learned a great deal about this wonderful woman. My respect and admiration and love grew with each surprising detail I learned about Eleanor's life. I would like to share a few snippets from the 25 page paper I wrote...
'Eleanor was born on February 6, 1915 in Coburg, Ontario. Her mother taught high school briefly, and her father was a medical doctor. Eleanor became a big sister in 1916, 1918, 1920, and again in 1930. Because she was their first, her parents were expecting a boy. They had even picked out a name; they planned to call the baby William. Although they were not disappointed that my grandmother was a girl, they used to call her "Billie." The nick-name stuck, which was amusing because her last name was Kidd.
During her childhood, Eleanor's father became a psychiatrist. He worked for the provincial government in Ontario's hospitals and mental institutions, so the family moved around quite a bit. She recalled a time when she was visiting her father at work "in the asylum." A patient who thought he was the Emperor of Japan handed her a cheque for $100,000.00. I mention this to illustrate a point that seems consistent throughout Eleanor's life; her acceptance of events and circumstances that occurred in and around her world. She accepted the (obviously phony) cheque, she accepted the frequent moves, she accepted the births (and deaths) of younger siblings, and she accepted her masculine nick-name. She even accepted Scarlet Fever which left her bedridden and near death. She was able to endure her husband's death when she was 32, and accept her role as a working single mother of two. Grandma told me that she never wanted to teach (she would have preferred a career in business). She actually told me that she toyed with the idea of becoming a ballet dancer or an oil company executive, but she accepted that teaching was the only practical choice for her at the time. "After Doug died,” she said, "my whole life changed, from being a mother and wife with a help-mate, to being entirely on my own and responsible for my family. So I shut off that former life and assumed another.”
Grandma endured hearing loss, high blood pressure, and the removal of a kidney, cataract surgery, colon cancer, broken bones and more. Eleanor took whatever life handed her and "went with the flow.” She did not believe in "wallowing in self pity”, or "tooting her own horn.” Her ability to gracefully deal with all of life's triumphs and tragedies has always been inspirational to me.
My grandma loved the ballet, she loved golf and bowling and watching football. She loved cards, and Scrabble and crossword puzzles. She introduced me to Sherry, and taught me to appreciate a glass of good rye. Eleanor loved to learn. She actually went to college at the age of 16! She kept taking language courses and business courses even after she retired at the age of 62.
The house that she lived in for 60-odd years was like a second home to me. I loved that old place. She kept it looking wonderful, and it always had a welcoming feel. Grandma told me once that her neighbour across the street was having some work done about the same time Eleanor decided to change the look of her front garden. They got together over tea and decided that each would have some input into the other’s garden. "After all,” she said, "she has to look at mine and I have to look at hers. It just made sense!” Grandma was always practical, and she was always thinking of others.
When she was 85, I asked Grandma what advice she would give to younger generations. She replied, "Count your blessings. Place less importance on material things. Stop and smell the roses more often.”
I admired my Grandmother's quiet strength, her intelligence, her candid-ness and her sense of humor. I appreciated her generosity, and her acceptance of all of my wierdnesses. Eleanor's matriarchal presence provided the whole family with stability and reassurance. Her passing has left a void in the lives of many. I loved her very much. I miss her.
Good-bye Grandma.
